You Are Allowed To Feel

Dilek Baykara

I’ve grown up with people telling me what I was feeling wasn’t really what I was feeling. It was all in my head. That it wasn’t right for me to feel the way I did about certain events. And all of that is fucked up. You should never be told that your feelings are invalid. That they don’t make sense. That you shouldn’t feel that way.

You are allowed to feel however the fuck you want about anything. Never believe someone if they tell you you’re crazy for feeling something.

Your feelings, thoughts, hopes, experiences, and dreams are all your own. They all matter if you say they do.

You are not weird because you feel a certain way.

You are allowed to feel anger, sadness, and joy.

If anyone tells you otherwise, fuck’em.

Eating Your Past

By Kamina Kapow

The skeletons in your closet. The hidden thoughts and journals and events that makes you the perfectly imperfect human you are today. Battling with the leftover feels of the past is something of a daily occurrence for some people. Fears holding you back. Doubts in yourself and what you’re capable of. Worries over people treating you badly or ignoring you. All tying you to something that isn’t happening anymore.

The skeletons in your closet are going to keep nagging at you until you take care of them. Bring them out. Dust them off. Inspect them. Submerse yourself in the feelings you get from them. Have tea with them. Write down everything you can remember from each of them, then burn the paper. Let the wind blow your past away. Put all your bad memories, thoughts, and feelings into your food as you make it. And when your teeth tear into it, imagine you literally eating your past. If you can’t get rid of everything, periodically invite them back over, wine and dine them until they blend seamlessly with you and no longer try and hold you back.

Your past is a valid part of who you are. I’m not saying to forget your past, unless that’s what you’re wanting, but to learn from it so it can’t control you in your present and future.

What To Do When You Feel Like Shit

By Kamina Kapow

When you’re soaking in misery. When you can’t find the energy to do shit. When you want nothing more than to curl up into a cocoon of blankets and never leave your bed. We all get this way. (I think) And there isn’t anything wrong with wallowing in your mental anguish.

Everyone’s despair is different. Maybe you get this way every once in awhile. Maybe it’s once or twice a month. Or maybe more times than you’d like to admit. But it happens. And if you’re anything like me, you will stay in this slump until you pull yourself out. Losing inspiration, willpower, drive, or whatever you may call it to keep moving forward.

It isn’t like we don’t want to feel better, it’s just that we can’t. Nothing I say is guaranteed to help you out of your personal misery, but I hope it does. Even if it only gives you an idea of how you can help yourself.

+ Movement

Whether it be exercising, walking, skating, dancing, or rolling around on the floor. Anything that moves you helps. It gets you out of your mind for a little, so you’re not living in this cooped up mental space.

+ Spa Day

Block off as much time as you can. Put on music that makes you happy. And get a face mask, hair mask, body scrub, lotion, nail polish and anything you can think of to do to yourself. Maybe some temporary hair color, anything. Spend as long as you can pampering yourself. Take a bubble bath, light candles, and block out the world.

+ Favorites

Bring out all your favorites. Watch your favorite movies, and eat your favorite food. Dance around in your favorite clothes to your favorite songs. Reread your favorite book.

+ Create

Anything. Just make something with your preferred medium. Put all your feelings into your work. Painting, jewelry making, sewing, graphic design, poetry, just make something. It can be therapeutic, even if you think it looks terrible.

+ Get Outside

Regardless of the weather, spend some time outside if at all possible. Even if you’re not a outside person. Take in the fresh air and sunshine, or listen to the rain fall. Don’t think too much, focus on what’s going on around you.

+ Freewrite

Streamline your thoughts on paper. Whether in a journal or on scraps. Get whatever you're feeling out. If you get stuck just keep asking yourself the same question over and over. Such as “Why do I feel like crap?” You may get logical answers, you might just get and I don’t know. But eventually you will get to the source of your feelings.

+ Talk

If you have loving and supportive friends/family then talk with them. If you don’t want to involve other humans then that’s fine. Talk to a pet, or yourself. This is similar to the freewriting. Get your feelings and emotions out and talk about them. You may find a reason for your shitty feelings.

+ Release

If you feel like crying, throwing a tantrum, beating your fists against your bed, etc. Then do it. I am the worse at keeping my emotions bottled up. This usually ends in tears, and headaches. Release everything you’re feeling, as long as you need to. (Keep painkillers nearby) And as many times as you need to.

All of these come from personal experience. These are the things that I do in order to help myself out of a mental slump. I hope they can help you in some way.

How To Be Slightly More Productive Than Yesterday

Kamina Kapow

We all have lazy days. The days where you stay slumped on your couch with remote in hand for the entire day. These days are needed to keep from burning out, or getting overwhelmed. But if your finding your distractions hard to pull away from, then you may need to give yourself a little push to get going.

I've found a few ways that I can make myself be productive. If only for awhile. Now, I'm not advocating a massive multitasking sessions where you do all the things. But doing a few of the following can slowly ease you into a rhythm that you're comfortable with.


+ Carve out a time to get your shit done.
I hate schedules. Blog posting schedules. Class schedules. Appointment schedules. It takes away the surprise. The art of going with the flow. But when the flow is constantly going towards social media sites, the flow must be stopped.

+ Organize your work space before hand. 
That way, you won't be tempted to when you're supposed to be working. Plus, a clean and calm area will, hopefully, keep your mind calmer.

+ Turn off your internet. 
Even if you need it for research, open the pages you need, then turn. it. off. Less temptation.

+ Set a timer to 20 minute intervals.
Also known as the pomodoro technique. For 20 minutes you work. For 5-10 minutes, you spin in your desk chair and wonder what you're doing with your life. Then, you get back to work for 20.

+ Have a muse or imaginary friend give you pep talks along the way.
Or, if you're masochistic, have your future self yelling military-esq commands at you. Which is what I do. But maybe you have someone famous, or someone you look up to. Think of what they would do in such a situation, or some inspirational words of wisdom they would say. Regardless, they probably wouldn't be staring blankly at the wall.

+ If you have an idea for something, act on it then.
If you write your ideas down for later, you will probably loose the initial excitement and oomph for them. Thus, you put them off and put them off. Suddenly it doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore. So work on your brilliant idea as soon as possible, to avoid all the avoidance.


There we go, how to be slightly more productive. Please let me know if any of the above worked for you. Also, what are your typical distractions and how do you deal with them? (Other than giving in.)

Censoring Your Life

Unknown

The opinion of others is a heavy, sticky web. Comments on what you say and do give you this temporary high of acceptance. It's great when you find like-minded people that vibe the same way as you, and that understand your love for things. But if you're putting off what you want to do, because you're afraid of your friends/family/strangers not approving, then it's a problem. Which is normally what happens.

So, let’s try something. Let's stop thinking of what everyone is going to think if you do something. Block out the opinions, stop doubting yourself, and just do it.

You want to be a cheerleader even though you are super shy? Great, start practicing.

You want to run a marathon but spend all your free time on Tumblr? Wonderful, get a pair of running shoes and make a training schedule.

You want to write a novel even though you freeze up in front of a blank page? Fantastic, get a voice recorder out and speak your plot, listen to it later and transcribe it.

You want to tell the cute dude off everytime he makes a misogynistic joke? I’m right behind you darling, burn him.

Here’s the thing, everything you really want to do in life is going to be looked down upon by someone. Sadly, it may be someone you love and trust. Your heart will break, and you'll feel betrayed. But then you need to uncurl from the existential crisis lump you rolled up in and get started doing what you want. Because fuck'em. If they love you, they'll come around in time. If not? Then they weren't that great to begin with.

I want you to promise yourself something. After reading this, you are going to pull out a piece of paper and write down every last thing you want to do, but have been too afraid of doing. Pick out one or two things that really twist your stomach, and then get to work on them.

I'm over simplifying how easy wants and dreams can be done, but the idea remains the same. If you are constantly thinking about what other people want you to do, your life won't be a lovely one. You can make your life as dull or interesting as you wish. Show everyone who doubted you what a bad ass you are.

Tell me below what you've been putting off for fear of what others will think.